Hi everyone! I'm Callum (known as Taromon on BGIOK), I'm 16 and I'm gay. No wait, I'm bi. No, I'm gay! You get the idea.
I've heard a lot of people say that they've always known they are gay. For me it was quite different; while the signs were obvious, I simply didn't notice. Since as young as eleven or twelve I've always been excited about the start of summer, as there will be loads of hot guys with their tops off. Not to mention the fantasies that played out in my head! It all felt so normal and natural to me that I never questioned it. Back then, I didn't even know what being gay meant, but even after my mum explained homosexuality to me, I still didn't suspect a thing.
Like everyone else, I'd become used to the notion that as guys grow older, they start to become interested in girls. And I was growing older, and I still wasn't interested in girls. Except I was; just a little. My main interest was always in other guys, but it was still only on a subconcious level. The only question on my mind was, OK, I'm getting older, why aren't I that interested in girls? Is this normal? Maybe I'm just not old enough yet...
It wasn't until after a slightly embarassing experience in a swimming pool changing room that I began to question my sexuality. Only now did I look back on my life and notice all the signs, and suddenly everything made sense. My first reaction was that I must be bi, probably because I found the prospect of being gay a little scary and daunting. At first I was kind of confused and a bit nervous about the whole thing, but I very quickly embraced it and couldn't think about anything else. I was just like, I'm bisexual! This is cool!
All this happened last summer, and the following September, I started college. I had been homeschooled since the age of seven so it was a very big change in my life, but I quickly grew to like it. And I also very quickly grew to like one of the boys on my course. And when I say quickly, I mean quickly - I was head over heels after just a few weeks. This was what confirmed it for me, what made me realise, that I really wasn't straight. I could say more, but I could write a whole other post about how I felt for this person, so I think I'll leave it at that.
I told my mum I was bi, and she was really nice about it, but even so I felt really awkward afterwards! I just wanted to change the subject, talk about anything but my sexuality, but then she came over and hugged me, and said how brave I was; it was kind of embarassing... But I'm so glad I told her; I feel like I'm no longer alone, and that there is someone I can talk to if I have any problems regarding the subject. I also told an aquaintence, the lazy way (on Facebook), and I want to tell some more people soon!
I've heard a lot of people say that they've always known they are gay. For me it was quite different; while the signs were obvious, I simply didn't notice. Since as young as eleven or twelve I've always been excited about the start of summer, as there will be loads of hot guys with their tops off. Not to mention the fantasies that played out in my head! It all felt so normal and natural to me that I never questioned it. Back then, I didn't even know what being gay meant, but even after my mum explained homosexuality to me, I still didn't suspect a thing.
Like everyone else, I'd become used to the notion that as guys grow older, they start to become interested in girls. And I was growing older, and I still wasn't interested in girls. Except I was; just a little. My main interest was always in other guys, but it was still only on a subconcious level. The only question on my mind was, OK, I'm getting older, why aren't I that interested in girls? Is this normal? Maybe I'm just not old enough yet...
It wasn't until after a slightly embarassing experience in a swimming pool changing room that I began to question my sexuality. Only now did I look back on my life and notice all the signs, and suddenly everything made sense. My first reaction was that I must be bi, probably because I found the prospect of being gay a little scary and daunting. At first I was kind of confused and a bit nervous about the whole thing, but I very quickly embraced it and couldn't think about anything else. I was just like, I'm bisexual! This is cool!
All this happened last summer, and the following September, I started college. I had been homeschooled since the age of seven so it was a very big change in my life, but I quickly grew to like it. And I also very quickly grew to like one of the boys on my course. And when I say quickly, I mean quickly - I was head over heels after just a few weeks. This was what confirmed it for me, what made me realise, that I really wasn't straight. I could say more, but I could write a whole other post about how I felt for this person, so I think I'll leave it at that.
I told my mum I was bi, and she was really nice about it, but even so I felt really awkward afterwards! I just wanted to change the subject, talk about anything but my sexuality, but then she came over and hugged me, and said how brave I was; it was kind of embarassing... But I'm so glad I told her; I feel like I'm no longer alone, and that there is someone I can talk to if I have any problems regarding the subject. I also told an aquaintence, the lazy way (on Facebook), and I want to tell some more people soon!
Now I've had more time to think about it though, I seem to be leaning more towards gay than bisexual. Occasionally I will find a girl attractive, but the thought of being in a relationship or doing anything naughty with one makes me cringe. No offence or anything! Girls are great, and some of my best friends are girls, but the romantic feelings just aren't really there, at least not completely.
Now I'm in "find a boyfriend" mode, and find it hard to think anything else. I still live at home, and I'm not really in a position where I can go out and actively seek people, but things could hopefully change in a year or so when I go to film school.
And... that's it really! Sorry it was so long, hope I didn't bore you all half to death! I do personally find reading other people's stories really helpful and empowering, so hopefully my story helped you in some way!
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