New Blog!

Hey everyone!

We have a new blog which you can find at bgiok.tumblr.com

Hasta pronto,

The Professor

On Lady Gaga

Can we stop pretending Lady Gaga is some ultimate saviour of the gays and an advocate for gay rights?

While we're at it, can we stop pretending she's at all original, creative, or in any way talented?

That'd be great.

Let's look at what Lady Gaga is: she's exploitative and opportunistic. I won't say she's not smart, but that's not a compliment - she's smart in that incredibly crafty, sneaky, very slimy way I'm pretty sure everyone at Disney is (a whole separate rant about manufacturing pop culture, that is). She knows how to capitalize on trends, and she especially knows how to make everything all about her. Lady Gaga, gay rights are not about you (I do not believe for a second that she is bisexual, and I think we can all agree that the rumours of her being intersexed have been greatly exaggerated and probably started by her).

Lady Gaga's aesthetic is a pastiche of other artists she can't compare to: Grace Jones, who had the metaphorical balls to back up her bizarre badassery; David Bowie who is infinitely more talented and had a point to his androgyny; Madonna, who was sex-positive in general and became a gay icon by accident as a natural extension of her sex-positivity, not as an obviously calculated move to attract the poor, disenfranchised ~gays.

The thing is, nothing about Lady Gaga is empowering to the LGBT community. For one thing, "Born This Way" kind of sort of excludes the "T," despite the throwaway line about "transgender life." Oh, you were born with your gender not matching your body? You were supposed to be according to Gaga, because "God makes no mistakes."

That song goes on to indulge some racism, because Lady Gaga only wants to appeal to the cute, flamboyant, white gays. "No matter black white or beige, chola or orient made" seems on the surface to be accepting of everyone, but that's only if you don't consider the rather concerning and derogatory histories of both "chola" and "orient." Oriental refers to objects of Asian origin, not people. It is rather discriminatory and dehumanizing to call a person "oriental." And chola, well that comes from an Aztec word meaning "dog," and is more commonly used to talk about Hispanic and Latin American people who are "gangsters," classless, or of a lower class. Charming and inclusive as always, Lady Gaga.

Oh, but being inclusive is not Lady Gaga's bag. First of all, I'm pretty sure if you're a lesbian you're entirely invisible in her worldview. Nothing she says or does has anything to do with lesbians; it's all flamboyant gays and drag queens, her "little monsters." If you're bisexual, you're just a marketing ploy for her to sell her crappy music, a la Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl." So that eliminates the L,B and T from the LGBT acronym. That leaves the gay men. Well, you only count to Gaga if you're a "freak" or a monster or whatever. "Don't be a drag, just be a queen." No, Lady Gaga, I won't be a queen, because I am masculine.

Lady Gaga doesn't represent gays. She has forced herself onto a very select population of gay men who flock to her for some inexplicable reason, and she wants us all to be exactly the same.

You cannot liberate through oppression and stereotypes. I want a gay icon who recognizes and celebrates the unique nature of the LGBT community, that we may share a handful of traits but we're all still unique people. That is what is important about us, not who we sleep with or what's between our legs.

There's a lot more I could say about why Lady Gaga bothers me so much, but I'm bored now.

There's More Than One Way To Be Gay

Hello, this is my first post here. Let's get the introductory stuff out of the way: Lukas, 15, Irish and living in Canada. Exciting.

This isn't going to be a typical coming out story, since I'm not "out," per se, or one about homophobia, though I have plenty of those. This is a post about discrimination and prejudice from within the GLBTQ community. I don't have any gay friends my age, but I do know some, a few years older, who are very active in the gay community here. One of these people recently told me that I need to "stop acting straight" and embrace that I am gay.

What prompted this? The fact that I adore football, or soccer as everyone where I live calls it. I play it, I watch it, I love it. And that apparently is a betrayal to the fact that I'm gay. Because to really be gay, I have to be flamboyant and effeminate, I guess.

Gay is my sexual orientation, not my identity. I am a complex person, as we all are. I have played football since I was five years old. I love it and I will never stop. I also love watching it, and I am genuinely excited when my favourite club has a good match and it can throw me off my day when they lose.

I like to run around and kick balls and train and get dirty and sweaty and be active. I also love to get dressed up in nice clothes now and then and go out and dance to Rihanna and Ke$ha, and I will even stop complaining about Lady Gaga if I'm having fun. These are not contradictory statements. I am just as comfortable in a track suit as I am in designer clothes (given the situation).

I am not being "fake" or "straight-acting" because I am athletic. I am simply athletic. I can be athletic and be gay, and frankly I think the assumption that I can't is very insulting, to everyone.

There is so much homophobia and discrimination in the world. Do we really need to be perpetuating it in our own community? Everyone is different. I don't want to be like everyone else any more than the person who said that to me wants to be.

Testing...Testing...1...2...3...?

Bon après-midi.

I had meant to post sooner, but, hey, life sometimes drags you back with other stuff. I shall start with a short introduction - I am Meows, 15, from the South West of the UK. I am a keen language geek (which is the reason why I sometimes switch languages quite intermittently, although hopefully I'm understandable), and am gay. It normally takes quite a lot out of me to say that out loud and, although I am myself in front of my friends, I strangely find it hard to let it roll off the tongue. I signed up to the forums in late July of 2010, and have stuck around ever since.

Although my principle interests are languages, cats and F1, I do take a big interest in the media and stuff, and I'm often found to be perusing the several media outlets in hope of finding something remotely interesting and light hearted in a world of hate and prejudice. Of course, this place is hopefully going to help break down the constant prejudice against the LGBT community (allthough this is improving with rapid speed), and hopefully myself and the rest of the bloggers can help debunk some of the myths and mysteries surrounding our 'community' and provide some tips and hints of things to do and places to meet people who understand each other. :)

I'll most likely be updating on Saturdays, since this is the only time where I can actually write the article. I'll be adding my minute knowledge and insight into what the LGBT community is about, and my experiences past and present of what went right and what went horrifically wrong!

And finally, I'll not only be trying to find some news involving the gay community, I'll also try to make the place slightly light hearted. Sometimes seriousness isn't the only way to get a message across, and humour tends to be much more long lasting in the mind - and who doesn't love a laugh? :)

I'm sure I have probably said far too much for an introduction, and LoneWolf will be after me for clogging up his blog space with my constant nonsense, but that won't stop me coming back. :)

Be nice to each other, life for every day and I'll see you next week. :)

-Meows.

Lone Wolf: Relationships

Hey there, I thought I would give my feelings about relationships, its something a lot of us tend to think about, perhaps more often than we would want, deep down we all want to find that special someone that we can share our lives with, have someone to cuddle up to on a cold winters night and someone to help us when life throws bad stuff our way. Of course coping and being happy while single is very important as you can't spend all your time constantly trying to find someone as it will make you depressed. As I was once told, you will only find love when you are not looking for it, and that's pretty much what happened with my first relationship, I had given up on ever meeting anyone and it just came out of the blue,

Being an only child I am pretty used to being on my own and having my own space, since I left school I had an entire year and a half of rarely seeing anyone at all, its only really been in the past week that I've started to pick up a social life. Personally I think it's harder for a gay person to find someone to have a relationship with than it is for a straight person, it doesn't help that for me, I only know one gay person who doesn't live at least 300 miles away!

I would say that a club is definitely not the right place to try to meet someone, unless your just looking for someone casual. I think its probably best to just go to the outside world and meet people through work, school and university and eventually you will come across someone. Again that's pretty hard for me too because I don't have a job, but personally I am not really that fussed about finding someone, things are going pretty well for me at the moment and although we all have fantasies of a perfect relationship, it doesn't come without its problems as well. So I think it is important to be able to be happy and single and to try not to obsess too much about meeting the perfect partner.

Coming Out to Myself

Hi everyone!  I'm Callum (known as Taromon on BGIOK), I'm 16 and I'm gay.  No wait, I'm bi.  No, I'm gay!  You get the idea.

I've heard a lot of people say that they've always known they are gay.  For me it was quite different; while the signs were obvious, I simply didn't notice.  Since as young as eleven or twelve I've always been excited about the start of summer, as there will be loads of hot guys with their tops off.  Not to mention the fantasies that played out in my head!  It all felt so normal and natural to me that I never questioned it.  Back then, I didn't even know what being gay meant, but even after my mum explained homosexuality to me, I still didn't suspect a thing.

Like everyone else, I'd become used to the notion that as guys grow older, they start to become interested in girls.  And I was growing older, and I still wasn't interested in girls.  Except I was; just a little.  My main interest was always in other guys, but it was still only on a subconcious level.  The only question on my mind was, OK, I'm getting older, why aren't I that interested in girls?  Is this normal?  Maybe I'm just not old enough yet...

It wasn't until after a slightly embarassing experience in a swimming pool changing room that I began to question my sexuality.  Only now did I look back on my life and notice all the signs, and suddenly everything made sense.  My first reaction was that I must be bi, probably because I found the prospect of being gay a little scary and daunting.  At first I was kind of confused and a bit nervous about the whole thing, but I very quickly embraced it and couldn't think about anything else.  I was just like, I'm bisexual!  This is cool!

All this happened last summer, and the following September, I started college.  I had been homeschooled since the age of seven so it was a very big change in my life, but I quickly grew to like it.   And I also very quickly grew to like one of the boys on my course.  And when I say quickly, I mean quickly - I was head over heels after just a few weeks.  This was what confirmed it for me, what made me realise, that I really wasn't straight.  I could say more, but I could write a whole other post about how I felt for this person, so I think I'll leave it at that.

I told my mum I was bi, and she was really nice about it, but even so I felt really awkward afterwards!  I just wanted to change the subject, talk about anything but my sexuality, but then she came over and hugged me, and said how brave I was; it was kind of embarassing...  But I'm so glad I told her; I feel like I'm no longer alone, and that there is someone I can talk to if I have any problems regarding the subject.  I also told an aquaintence, the lazy way (on Facebook), and I want to tell some more people soon!

Now I've had more time to think about it though, I seem to be leaning more towards gay than bisexual.  Occasionally I will find a girl attractive, but the thought of being in a relationship or doing anything naughty with one makes me cringe.   No offence or anything!  Girls are great, and some of my best friends are girls, but the romantic feelings just aren't really there, at least not completely.

Now I'm in "find a boyfriend" mode, and find it hard to think anything else.  I still live at home, and I'm not really in a position where I can go out and actively seek people, but things could hopefully change in a year or so when I go to film school.

And... that's it really!  Sorry it was so long, hope I didn't bore you all half to death!  I do personally find reading other people's stories really helpful and empowering, so hopefully my story helped you in some way!

Lolguy's coming out story.

I made a post concerning this at the BGIOK forums. It went something like this:


"My mom actually found out by going through my computer and possible finding gay porn that I may or may not have had possession of at that point in time. 
Nevertheless, she says she it doesn't bother her all that much, (I'm sort of offended that it does at all, but I've come to expect it from people) but I'm still a bit wary of her. My dad just, "doesn't give a shit," I suppose. He doesn't seem at all affected by the news. 

I've also told my friends. This has turned out several ways. Shall I list them? I shall:
1. Most of them don't care either. They respect me a lot more now actually. Which, I'll admit, took me by surprise.
2. Some avoided me for a little while at first, but eventually came to accept the fact. These people are still my friends.
3. A couple of them talk to me sometimes, but avoid me most of the time. I stopped caring about these people.
4. One of them called me a stupid faggot. I told him to f-off. We don't talk anymore.

Overall, it's been one hell of an experience. And I can honestly say I was downright scared to tell most of these people. But at least (for the most part) everything turned out ok. I'm actually happier now, kind of, and talk to people more, kind of.

So yeah, story time that was. It's over now."


Anyways, a little more in depth now, since I'm sort of obligated to do so.
When my mom found out, it wasn't because I told her, she found a small stash of gay porn. After confronting me about it, we talked about me being gay for...an hour probably. She's still not 100% comfortable with it, but she'll come to accept it in time.
And as for my dad, he said, "I honestly don't give a shit. I'm just happy that you were able to tell me." Yeah, he's a pretty cool guy.


For most of my friends not caring, that's just how it looks. I got some reactions of, "Really? Wow." But that's about it. They accept me and still talk to me. Apathy is apathetic, I guess.


As for the ones that avoided me, I sort of expected some to do that. We all take news like that differently, and they just needed time to accept it. But we still get along with each other, so it's nothing big.


As for the ones that generally avoid me: It doesn't really bother me that much anymore. At first I was kind of hurt, then I realized that I had friends who accepted me for...me. I don't talk to them much anymore.


And the one that called me a stupid faggot wasn't much of a friend to begin with anyways. I've gotten over it. And besides, if he tries to start anything, I'm a better fighter than him. Haha, but seriously he's a loser and I don't associate myself with him anymore.




So that's it everyone. Thanks for reading and all. You now know a little more about that person they call Lolguy.